"ONE SMALL STEP" (Lights up. ARMSTRONG and ALDRIN are in the Apollo spacecraft in zero gravity. Waiting. Waiting. Punching buttons. Waiting.) ARMSTRONG Though I am only jumping down a few measurable feet from the bottom of the ladder, this, I would have to say, is a really big jump ahead for every man, living or dead. ALDRIN You say something, Armstrong? ARMSTRONG Too wordy. ALDRIN What's too wordy? ARMSTRONG It has to be just right. They're going to be the first words spoken from the surface of the moon and I want them to be just right. ALDRIN How about "Holy shit! I'm on the fucking moon!" ARMSTRONG Be serious. The whole world will be watching as I climb down that ladder and take the first human step on the moon. My words will be emblazoned into history. Schoolchildren will memorize them. They will be the watchwords of the space exploration program. They must be perfect. I want them to sing. ALDRIN Who said you were going to be the first one down the ladder? ARMSTRONG I'm closest to the door. ALDRIN We're packed like tuna into a four-foot cubic can. I say we're both closest to the door. ARMSTRONG Even so. ALDRIN Who died and made you the first man to walk on the moon? ARMSTRONG I've been in the program the longest. ALDRIN By a week! ARMSTRONG Exactly. And my words will be important. So, if you would stop distracting me, I'd like to get on with making history. Do you mind? How's this? I'd say the distance from the bottom of the ladder to the moon's surface is approximately a foot and a half, but the distance this propels the whole human race is much longer. In a metaphysical sense. What do you think? ALDRIN I think you're full of crap. I think you haven't taken into account that there is someone else in this capsule that might want to be the first man on the moon, and you are good and ready to run roughshod over his very valid claim at immortality without even having the common decency to put it to a vote. ARMSTRONG Oh, come on, Buzz. We'll all be "immortal". ALDRIN Not true. One guy will make the first step. He'll be remembered. What he says will be remembered. Oh, sure. For a couple of years they'll remember all of us. But in ten years they won't even remember I was in the capsule with you. And you can forget about them ever remembering. . .what's his name. COLLINS (over radio) My name is Michael Collins. ALDRIN AND ARMSTRONG Whatever. (laugh) ARMSTRONG If you feel that strongly about it, we'll put it up to a vote. Would that make you happy? ALDRIN It would be a start. ARMSTRONG Fine. All in favor of Neil Armstrong being the first man on the moon, raise your hand. (ARMSTRONG raises his hand.) ARMSTRONG Off to a strong, early lead. All in favor of Buzz Aldrin, raise your hand. (ALDRIN raises his hand.) ARMSTRONG A tie. Okay. How do you vote. . .uh. . . ALDRIN Collins. I think. ARMSTRONG Collins. COLLINS (over radio) I abstain. ARMSTRONG What kind of American are you?! COLLINS (over radio) I'm your ride home. ALDRIN AND ARMSTRONG Asshole. ARMSTRONG What do we do now? ALDRIN Coin toss. ARMSTRONG (digging for change) Call it in the air. (ARMSTRONG flips the coin and they watch it as it floats up and away.) ARMSTRONG Foot race? ALDRIN Don't be stupid. ARMSTRONG Trivia contest. Whoever names all of the state capitals goes first. ALDRIN (thinking hard) Pierre. Bismarck. Nevada. . .City. Forget it. ARMSTRONG We're almost there and I still haven't worked out the kinks in my speech. ALDRIN Not so fast. I say we settle this with good old American democracy. The craft lands, I say "go", and we claw our way to the door. Whoever tramples the other one and gets out first, wins. How about it? ARMSTRONG Why do you get to say "go"? ALDRIN Shut up. ARMSTRONG Okay. I can live with that. So, I think in the interest of history we should both prepare something. If there are no objections. ALDRIN Not at all. (Pause.) ARMSTRONG A quick, little jump now and man is pushed far into the future. ALDRIN Hey, you lousy Russians! I beat you! Dosvadan-this! ARMSTRONG One little step for me, a really big, super step for the rest of you. ALDRIN I got it. This is all a hoax. This so-called "moon" you see is merely a set in a television studio. You're government is lying to you. Question authority! God help you all! (Both laugh. Then stop short. That might be too close to the truth.) ARMSTRONG Ah! One small step for me, a big step for humanity.