"DEAR COURTNEY"

                                   (Lights up on FAN A and FAN B, on
                                   opposite sides of the stage.  Each
                                   holds a letter.)

                                   FAN A
            Dear Courtney.

                                   FAN B
            Ms. Love.

                                   FAN A
            You are so awesome.

                                   FAN B
            Fuck you.

                                   FAN A
            You are so totally awesome!

                                   FAN B
            You suck so hard that passing birds are afraid they'll get
            dragged into the powerful vortex of your suckage.

                                   FAN A
            When you sing "Doll Parts" it helps me make sense of the
            world.

                                   FAN B
            Did you plan on selling out like a toothless whore or was it
            something you decided to do on a whim?

                                   FAN A
            I think I must have bought five copies of Pretty on the
            Inside because I'd take it wherever I went and I kept losing
            it.  Or getting it stolen most likely because so many people
            are that desperate to listen to your kick-ass self that they
            think they have to steal it.

                                   FAN B
            I saw a picture of you in Vanity Fair today.  Vanity Fair,
            for fuck's sake!

                                   FAN A
            I know a lot of people didn't care for Celebrity Skin, but I
            wasn't one of them.  Everything you do has no choice but to
            reflect the brilliant glow of your blinding awesomeness.